Nick comes in and grins at the sight of the computer club members glued to the television. He can’t believe it. They aren’t even watching streaming video, they’re watching regular cable TV.
Some computer geeks.
He crosses over to sit with Kate.
The others keep watching the program, but Nick and Kate cuddle with their heads together, talking quietly.
“How was your night class?”
“Not too bad, most of the kids are coming along nicely. Only a couple in doubt at this point. One in serious doubt.”
“Uh oh, what did she do this time?”
“They were supposed to be writing up their dissection notes because he’s going to be marking them this weekend.”
“Who’s going to be marking them?”
“Shhh. Yes, it will be grunt work. You know how it goes.”
“Yeah, I do. So tell me, what did she do?”
“She hadn’t actually bothered to do a dissection.”
“You’re kidding. Why not?”
“Tamara missed it too, but she came in and made it up.”
“After one of your famous chats?”
“Hey, I just gave her a bit of brotherly advice.”
“Tamara’s shaping up so it’s just Barbie in the doo doo?”
Adam hears Barbie’s name, realizing with an uncomfortable shock that Nick is talking about “his” Barbie.
Although he continues to face the television set, Adam’s real attention focuses on the quiet discussion on the sofa.
“You know, I did offer her some re-scheduling choices but she never showed,” Nick continues. “That’s it. So I didn’t expect her to show up tonight. I mean, what’s she going to write? She didn’t do the procedure, game over. But she’s making notes during the Q and A, sitting by Tamara. It’s nuts to crib from Tamara because she’s barely hanging on. I couldn’t believe Barbie’s … audacity.”
“Not trying at all?”
“She doesn’t think rules apply to her. There always has to be a special dispensation, just for her. She was trying to catch up, not by applying herself but by slapping together info she’s picked up from the others. That’s what she wants to hand in.”
“That’s crazy. How can she hand in notes on a procedure she hasn’t done?”
“I don’t know where her head is, but it’s a class, so I’m not gonna talk to her until after, right? Anyway we’re done the review and class breaks up so most of them are heading out. All except Barbie. Tamara looked like she was gonna wait too, but Barbie waved her out.”
“I almost feel sorry for her.”
“How can you say that?”
“It’s not hard. You have to realize honey, it’s because she’s so pretty. People have probably been giving her things and doing for her her whole life. That’s just how her world works. This is probably the first time anyone has expected her to actually do the work. I don’t get why she just doesn’t go to Hollywood or something.”
“Probably because the serious competition there would be on her looks. Katie, you are so forgiving. Wait til you hear the rest before giving her a free pass babe. I’m gathering up my stuff and loading everything on the cart, when all of a sudden I can just tell she’s coming up behind me.”
“Like Freddie Kruger, right.”
“Shhh … everyone’s watching House.”
“So what happened next?”
“You’ve seen her, she simpers, you know, in that gushy helpless voice that makes me want to smack her upside the head. She goes ‘Oh, hi Nick, what a great class, I learned so much. Can we talk?’ so I told her, ‘but you know I’m only a TA.’ ”
“Oh that’s great, hon. What’d she say to that?”
“She asked me to help her write up her dissection notes.”
“The girl has chutzpah.”
Nick shakes his head. “I tried to explain that you have to actually do the dissection to be able to write it up but she doesn’t listen, she’s telling me about the troubles she has, organizing her schedule.”
“You know she spends half her life in the woods smoking up with Jose and that crowd, right?” Kate says softly.
“Of course I know, I can smell it on her whenever I see her after she’s cut class. But she can’t submit dissection notes without having done the dissection. I mean what’s she thinking? So I asked her if she’s plans to con other doctors into doing her work for her after she gets her MD? I don’t think so.”
“Oh, sweetie. She threaten to go over your head again?”
“No, this time she burst into tears and ran out.”
“Aw, poor thing. What did you do, follow and apologize?”
“Hardly. I finished packing up. It’s late, I’m done, I’m wheeling the cart up the aisle and the door opens.”
“She came back after the big dramatic exit?”
“Hey, what else was she gonna do? I didn’t follow her. She had to try some other kind of scam.”
“Uh oh, I’m getting the idea here. What was the scam?”
“I’ve shut off most of the lights, so she’s back lit, in a halo of light, so it’s impossible to miss the shape on the girl.”
“Oh, poor you, forced to admire perfectly formed nubile college girls.”
“She gives it the old college try, ‘Please Nick, you could help if you wanted to’. So I asked if she can’t keep up now when it’s beginner stuff, how she’s gonna get by when things get difficult.”
“She lets the door swing closed and she comes in and I realize it isn’t just fluffier hair. She’s unbuttoned her blouse and it was, uh, painfully obvious that she’d taken off her bra.”
“Sounds like it got your attention.”
“Wait for it, I haven’t got to the best part. She brushes up against me and tells me I look tired and we could help each other out. Only now she’s talking in a breathy Marilyn kind of voice..”
“Not your type?”
“You know better than that, darlin’. Here’s me trying to push the cart away and she’s licking her lips and trying to do that slutty girl pout. It was actually kind of funny.”
“Not as slinky as Thirteen?”
Nick nods at the actress on screen. “Not a prayer.”
“No sale, huh?”
“You know better than that. So I tell her, ‘Look that might have worked in high school, but it will not fly here. You need to think seriously about changing majors because the only way to get an MD is to earn it and the only way to earn it is to work for it.’ Then she starts buttoning her cleavage back up and pfffft, Marilyn has been replaced by the Snow Queen.”
The end credit percussion signals the end of the House episode. Nick glances up and sees that the computer club has dropped all pretense of watching TV in favor of his story.
“That really happened?” Jake asks.
“Sadly, yes.” Holding up his hands, “Look guys, I’d appreciate it if what I’ve said to Kate doesn’t go any further. It’s privileged TA stuff. I didn’t realize I was telling everyone.”
“Don’t worry about it, we’ll never tell,” smiles Krystal.
Oscar says, “Your soap opera was better than House.”
Adam’s ordinarily well ordered mind reels chaotically. He needs to get somewhere quiet and think this through. Perhaps the pedestal he has Barbie on is not after all appropriate.
