Posts by Laurel L. Russwurm

69

No Smoking sign on a wall

Jake comes into the common room and sniffs ostentatiously. He glares at Jose flaked out on the red sofa holding a burning roach in his hand.

Jose grins foolishly. “Hey there kid. How’s it hanging?”

Jake comes in and sits in the arm chair, attempting to stare down Jose.

Doesn’t work.

Jose says, “You look pretty rough, man. Want a hit?” pinching the stub in a roach clip he proffers it to Jake.   Jake looks at the offering with dismay.   Obviously subtlety has no hope of working.

“Jose, you can’t smoke pot in here. We’ll get in trouble.”

Jose shakes his head.  “Doesn’t make sense man. If a man can’t smoke up at home, where can he?”

“Nowhere.   Smoking pot is against the law in Canada.   It’s not legal anywhere, home or not.   And think about it, if you get caught you could get kicked out of school.   All it would take is for a porter or the don to wander in and you’re cooked.   We’d all get in trouble, too.”

“Aw, sorry Jake.”   Jose puts the butt out in a portable ash tray, and snaps it shut.   “I’ve just been having a crappy day, man, and I just wanted to get level, you know.”

“What do you usually do?”

“I usually go smoke up in the woods but it’s crawling with cops.   And it’s fucking cold out there.”   He laughs ruefully.   “They warned me about Canadian winters but I didn’t really get it.”

In spite of himself Jake laughs.”I hate to tell you, but this isn’t winter, it’s fall.   Winter is much colder.”

“Are you shittin’ me? That isn’t winter out there?”

“Sorry. The way it works is that once we get used to this weather, that’s when it gets really cold.   But it really isn’t so bad, you might even get to like snow.”

“It gets worse?   Oh man.   I can’t believe it.   And I have to go outside to smoke?   Isn’t there anywhere warm to go?”

“Not really.   It’s even illegal to smoke cigarettes indoors in public spaces, and they’re legal.”   Jake thinks a minute, then says, “If it’s gonna be a problem for you maybe you ought to think about getting an off campus apartment.”

“Maybe I should. Man, I wish I’d a known.”

“Better take it outside there, Jose.”

Jake and Jose look over and see Boris padding blearily through the common room on the way to the kitchen.   Suddenly Jake looks a little queasy.

“Why is the campus crawling with cops?” asks Jose.

“Because Natasha got attacked yesterday. I was out searching for her half the night.”

“Man, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Suddenly towering over Jake, the only colour in his face made by black circles around his eyes, Boris asks, “What happened to Natasha?”

“Somebody attacked her in the woods.”

“Is she OK?”

“She’s in the hospital.”   Looking at the thunderous expression on Bo’s face Jake isn’t sure if it would be safer to tell him or not.   He takes a deep breath and realizes there isn’t a choice.   He has to tell.   “She was raped, Boris.”

Boris sags, “Oh God. Did you see her? How was she?”

“She was unconscious.   I came home to try and get some sleep but I couldn’t, so I tried going to class, and I couldn’t do that either.   Liz and Ethan stayed at the hospital hoping to see her when she wakes up. They haven’t come back yet.”

Dropping to a sitting position on the floor Boris buries his face in his hands, shaking with heavy sobs.

Jake and Jose exchange awkward glances, wordlessly deciding the best course of action is withdrawal.

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70

Chicken balls, chicken fried Rice etc... really from the Egg Roll King

Adam is coming into the cafeteria just as Barbie and her annoying friend come out.

Isn’t Barbie ever alone?

Adam wants so desperately to talk to her. All right all right, he’s got to try anyway. Get under control. Deep breath.

“Hello, Barbie. How’s your computer handling Ubuntu?”

“Oh, hi, uh, Alan, it’s doing just great. You have a magic touch!” Barbie bestows a million dollar smile and then she’s gone.

Instead of being dazzled, Adam feels as though he’s taken a punch. Alan? She still doesn’t even know his name? He’s going to be paying his brother back for that god awful concert for years and she doesn’t know his name.

Adam continues into the cafeteria. He grabs a tray, adds a pint of milk and the chicken entrée, slides it along the metal track. After paying he looks listlessly around for an empty seat when he notices someone is waving. At him? Oh, it’s Dave. Adam smiles, and threads his way through the scattered tables and students to join his new friend over by the window.

§

Maggie, Kate and Krystal are sitting around their table in the sun. Krystal is looking a little off colour.

“Are you okay, Krys?”asks Maggie.

“I just need some lunch.”

Kate looks a question at Maggie who almost imperceptibly waves her off. Suddenly Krystal flushes, and Maggie glances over to note it’s a reaction to Quentin and Jose coming through the doors. “You still got a thing for that boy?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Why not go talk to him or something?”

“He’s only interested in that Barbie doll. See he’s looking all over the room, trying to catch a glimpse of the precious little bitch. But she’s not here. Watch his face fall ’cause she’s not here to lead him around by his prick.”

Kate laughs. “You’ve got it bad, Krystal.”

Krystal shakes her head, “Yeah, I know. Oh well, I’ll have to make do. Admire from afar.”

“He is good looking.” Kate says, “Nice shoulders.”

“Very,” agrees Krystal. “Broad shoulders.”

“Nice buns too,” says Maggie.

Krystal says, “Mmmmmm.”

“What’s up with that?” asks Kate.

“What do you mean?” asks Krystal.

Kate says, “He’s pretty sedentary. You never see him working out, or doing anything except being languid. What I want to know is why such a couch potato like Jose who smokes up and doesn’t exercise has such a great butt while all I get is cellulite.”

“Good genes,” Maggie tells her.

“Real good jeans. All I want is one chance to chew them off.” Krystal smiles.

Maggie starts giggling, “God girl, watch yourself or you’re gonna end up having an orgasm right here.”

“Maybe then he’d notice me.” says Krystal.

Kate throws up her hands. “Enough already. Anybody have anything interesting to talk about?”

“Uh, I had my interview with the cops.” says Maggie.

“How’d that go? As bad as you thought?” asks Kate.

Maggie nods. “That Detective Lewis chewed me out for not reporting the flasher.”

“It wouldn’t be a flasher,” says Krystal.

“Maybe they think the flasher graduated into rape.” says Kate. “Deviant sexual offenders usually start small and then work up to the bigger shit.”

Maggie shakes her head. “But the guy ran away when I laughed at him. Where would he get the balls to rape someone?”

“Don’t need to be brave if you hit somebody over the head from behind.” ventures Kate quietly.

“Oh god, I didn’t think of that. Jesus maybe it was my fault.”

“Look, it was probably Boris. It’s always the boyfriend right?” Krystal shakes her head, “But even if it was your flasher, if you’d have gone to the cops with your flasher story what do you think they would they have done?”

“Maybe found the guy. Before he attacked Natasha.”

Krystal shakes her head, “Naww, they’d have done the same thing we did, they’d have laughed.”

Kate says, “Maggie, stop. Even if it was the flasher you didn’t make the creep go out and do it. It isn’t your fault, it’s his. I am so sick of hearing excuses for bastards like that. Lots of people have crappy lives and don’t go around attacking other people. He did it. You didn’t. End of story.”

“They were interested when I told them about his bike.”

“What?”

“It was a red Schwinn.”

“What on earth is that?”

“A very expensive but very cool bike. Stu has one, which is why I recognized it. Maybe it’ll lead to something.”

“You guys do what you want, but far as I’m concerned, I’m watching my back when that Boris guy is around.” Krystal says.

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71

Green ivy creeps toward a gargoyle, University of Toronto
As Nick sits in the plastic chair across from Detective Lewis she asks, “What’s your connection with Natasha Panov?”

Nick shakes his head. “We both go to Christie, but we don’t really know each other. She’s a friend of a friend.”

“You reside in residence.” Detective Wolfrom says from behind. Nick picks up the chair and turns it 45° so he can see both detectives. Lewis suppresses a smile at this simple method of defeating the interrogation ploy. Of course it wouldn’t work in a real interrogation room, where the ‘client’ chair is generally bolted to the floor.

Nick nods. “Yes, I’m in a married student residence.”

“You don’t live in Fyfield House with Natasha Panov?”

“No. In one of the bungalows with my wife Kate.”

“So, how’s the home life, Mr. Stone?”

Nick bristles, but keeps his tone even. “I’m very happily married thank you. For the most part the only people I come in contact with are Christie personel and med students.”

“Students like Barbie Janzen.”

Nick looks at Lewis. “Along with my studies I am employed as a teaching assistant. Barbie Janzen is one of the first year students I’ve had occasion to supervise.”

“There’s been some suggestion that your relationship with Ms. Janzen may not be strictly platonic.”

Lewis thinks she sees anger flash across the man’s face, but it’s gone so quickly she’s not sure. “You must be kidding.” Nick Stone clenches his jaw, but manages to keep it together when he answers. “Whoever told you that is way out in left field. In my opinion it’s unlikely Ms. Janzen will complete the program.”

“An untoward romantic entanglement, Nick?” asks Lewis.

Nick shrugs mildly. “More philosophical differences.”

Lewis frowns. “Pardon me, Doc?”

“I’m not a doctor, detective, I’m a med student. Ms. Janzen’s problem is a work ethic conflict. She thinks she can become a doctor without doing the work. In my books, that’s a conflict.”

“So, you’re telling us there isn’t any sexual harassment?”

Nick shrugs. “Not from me.”

Wondering what that’s supposed to mean, Detective Lewis studies Nick Stone. Most guys would be through the roof by this point, but this one is unnaturally calm. Is it because the guy is a sociopath or is he just good doctor material?

“How well do you know Ms. Panov?”

“I don’t, actually. Pretty much the only reason I even know of Natasha is that I work out with her friend Boris. And I only know Boris because we hit the gym at the same time Tuesday nights.”

“Would you know where Boris is?”

Nick frowns, startled. “Uh, no. You haven’t talked to him?”

“There’s been no sign of him. Although everyone seems to have watched his argument with Ms. Panov yesterday, no one appears to know where he is now.”

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72

red and gold fall foliage late in the day

Although cleaned up, Bo’s dual black eyes make him look less than an upstanding citizen as he barrels through the hospital lobby. He heads for the information desk, where he gets directions to Natasha’s room. He pays no attention to the receptionist picking up the phone as he heads toward the elevator.

Approaching Natasha’s room, Boris slows down. What if she’s still mad at him. Wait, he’s supposed to be mad at her.

Never been very good at carrying a grudge though.

He peeks around the door jamb to see if she’s awake and Natasha’s peal of laughter tells him she is. Boris is so relieved he smiles as he steps into the room but his face falls as he takes in her bandages and bruising.

“Oh Nat, I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you.”

Natasha shakes her head. “What, after I did that to you? And then I laugh at you? I am such a bitch!”

“No you aren’t.”

“Yes I am,” sniffling, Natasha looks perfectly miserable. “I’m sorry I hit you, god knows I’ve seen the error of my ways. Hitting is bad. Muy bad.”

A little hopeful, Boris asks, “Does that mean there’s a chance you’ll go out with me?”

“No, it doesn’t. Look, just pull that chair over here and sit so we can talk. It’s important.”

Boris does as she asks, and settles beside her. “Can I hold your hand at least?”

“Yes,” she says, and he notices that her eyes are awfully moist. Up close he can also see quite a bit of bruising fanning out from her bandage.

“Look, I’ve been laying here in torment, not knowing if you were ever gonna speak to me again. You’re my best friend, Boris, I’ve never felt closer to anyone than I do to you. But I just don’t have romantic feelings for you and I never will. I just can’t.”

“But the kiss? You let me kiss you.”

“No. I stopped fighting you off because it wasn’t doing any good. Anything good you got out of that kiss was all in your mind Bo. It was not good for me.”

“You didn’t like it even a little?”

“No. I thought you knew right from the start. I thought we were so great because you knew and you didn’t care.”

“Knew what?”

“That I’m a lesbian, Bo.”

He gapes at her, not getting it.

“I like girls. You aren’t my type, Bo, you’re the competition.”

Stunned, Boris lets go her hand. “Oh.”

“You didn’t know.”

“Of course I didn’t know. Do you think I’d have made a pass at you if I’d known? Why didn’t you ever say anything? I thought we were friends. Jeeze Nat, I have to think about this.”

“Here I thought you were such a cool guy and it turns out you weren’t cool at all, you were just clueless.” Natasha laughs, which turns into a prodigious yawn.

Boris shrugs. “Hey whaddayawant? I’m just a nice Croatian boy looking for love. Apparently in all the wrong places.”

“Lots of guys think it’s cool, they think they’ll turn me on so that they can have a threesome. Or ‘reform’ me which I very much doubt is possible. I am definitely hard wired.” Natasha looks over at Boris, who sits there, still looking so stunned. “You taking any of this in, Bo?”

“Yeah. Oh man, I’m just realizing how shitty it’s gotta be for you to get attacked like that.”

“It’s a weird one, Bo. See, I was knocked out first, so it doesn’t seem real to me. Yet. I dunno. But even though it happened to my body, I wasn’t around for it, so that’s something. Of course, they’ve been keeping me so high I can’t hardly feel anything, and I’m probably really messed up down there. But my head knows, and it is some pissed off, let me tell you. They did a rape kit, a pregnancy test and an AIDS test on me before I even came to.”

“Oh god.”

“I’m not knocked up, but there’s good news and bad news.”

“Okay, good. What’s the bad news?”

“The bastard didn’t have the decency to wear a rubber so I’ll be doing a series of AIDS tests over the next couple of years.”

“And the good news?”

“If they catch him they’ve got DNA to put him away.”

“Great. I guess. Maybe I’m just selfish, because all I really care about is that you’re alive. I’m so glad. I couldn’t even imagine a world without you, Nat.” He turns away, and she can tell he’s sniffling.

“Come on Bo, can the mush. Talk about something else.”

“Like what? You’re in a hospital bed. They aren’t gonna let me smuggle in your Underworld DVDs.”

“Why not? What else am I gonna do?” She yawns deeply again. “Except maybe sleep. Hey, you know, there is one good thing about this.”

“What?” Boris can’t imagine anything good from this.

“I’m out of the closet now. That’s something. You know what, I was so scared about it but it feels great. But then maybe that’s the drugs. You’re still my friend, right Bo?”

“Don’t be a stupid. Of course I am.”

“And you know, now that I’m out, I can tell my best friend who I have the hots for.”

“No. Uh uh. I don’t want to think about that.”

“Hmm. I guess if you like me, you can’t possibly be a boob man. God, I love a good set.”

“Oh. Nat, ” In spite of himself Boris finds himself chuckling. “What you are doing to all my misconceptions!”

“This is so great. I feel so great to be able to talk to you about … guess who I have the hots for?” she yawns again, and Boris can see she’s fading.

“I can’t guess. Why don’t you tell me, who do you have the hots for?”

“That’s it, you’re not gonna guess?”

“Lemme get used to the idea, okay? Besides, you know I don’t have to guess, you’ll tell me.”

“Says who? Come on, just guess.”

“Okay, how about Barbie?”

“No way, I need a woman with a brain. I mean come on Bo, you gotta have something to talk about afterward.”

“Maybe you do, but I don’t.”

“I never knew you were such a pig!”

“Oink. Okay then how about Elsie. That girl is so hot.”

“Oh yeah she’s great looking but she’s got the personality of a Borg or something. Too tough. No, the one I like is Liz. She’s such a sweetheart. I’ve got such a crush on that girl. Except I know she’s so straight I cut myself just looking at her.”

“You can tell?”

“Yeah, I can tell.” Yawn. “I’m pretty sure anyway.”

“This is a lot to get my head around Nat. Hell, I’ve been thinking of us as getting married for a long time now. Imagining what our kids would look like.”

“Kids?” Natasha’s jaw drops. “Get outta town, no way!”

“I think I still want to marry you.”

“Look Bo, in the first place, you’re way too young to get married. If I was straight, hell, I’d marry you in a heartbeat. But I’m not. And I’m never gonna be.”

“But I don’t want to grow old alone.”

“I won’t let you, you can come live with me when we’re old. Although it’s pretty unlikely, ’cause you set hearts a racing.”

“That’s BS Nat, and you know it.”

“No, it’s true Bo. I’ve been your biggest handicap because they all think I’ve got you. So they stay away. What a selfish bitch I am, if I’d backed off a little, but I was afraid you’d stop being my friend if you hooked up with some chick.”

“No way.”

“You’re my best friend Bo. That hasn’t changed. We’ll always be friends no matter where we are. Don’t want to lose you.”

“You know, when I was so mad at you yesterday it made me even madder that I couldn’t talk it through with you.”

“Are you going to be able to get over it?”

“Well,” Boris smiles a little, “Maybe.”

Natasha studies him, mouth twitching just a tad. “What aren’t you telling me Bo?”

“I guess I can tell you, it won’t hurt your feelings.”

“Yes Bo. But tell me quick because the pain meds are about to put me out here.” Natasha gestures with her wrist, showing him the attached I.V.

“I was really mad, so I just went back to the Res and Elsie fixed me up.”

“I guess she could at that.” Natasha smiles drowsily.

“No, you goof, with ice.” Natasha raises her eyebrows questioningly. “Okay, I wasn’t happy because Elsie just wouldn’t play doctor with me even when I practically begged her.”

“Oh poor Bo.”

“I was seriously ragged so I had to go out and get pissed.”

“I know how that goes. Did it help?”

“Funny thing, the beer didn’t help much at all, really. But I have to tell you, the getting laid part really helped a lot.”

“That’s good, you tell me all the details.” Natasha smiles and yawns. “Hard to believe you could get laid with a double shiner like that, but that’s good Bo, tell me.”

“It was,” Boris smiles, remembering, “It was like something out of a movie. Out of one of Amelia’s film noir movies.”

Natasha smiles. “Sounds great, and I wanna hear everything but …. when I’m ‘wake… You’ll have to … to … tell me all ’bout it …” And she’s asleep.

Oddly, while watching Natasha sleep, Boris feels an overwhelming feeling of love for his friend, but without the slightest trace of lust. Any physical attraction he thought he had is gone. He leans down and gives her a light kiss on the forehead.

Looking down at her battered face he whispers, “I’m so glad you’re gonna be okay, Nat.”

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73

Gargoyle photographed at the University of Toronto

The detectives have been interviewing students living in residence with Natasha. Or in classes with her. Or both. “Think that bike lead will go anywhere?” Wolfrom asks.

“I hope so. There were bunch of off trail bike tracks, but the tech said they were probably pretty old. They took casts, and they’ll need to check tread patterns before they’ll give an opinion.”

“Old tracks, old butts, all we can do is keep talking to people. What about the boyfriend?”

“Even if it’s always the boyfriend, wouldn’t he have to be a real bonehead to do something like that after she knocked him down in front of the whole school.”

“What, perps aren’t boneheads?”

“I know, I know. You’re right. We gotta talk to him.”

“I’m willing to take some of these accounts with a grain of salt. To hear the stories the whole school was there to see it. Probably half of them are telling what they heard, or what their friends who were there texted them. It comes to court, Wolfie, we’re gonna have to be damn sure that only actual witnesses make it to the stand.”

“Why would they say they were there if they weren’t?”

“It was the social event of the season. Being there confers instant status. Didn’t you ever want to be a Big Man on Campus?”

“Naw. I spent my life working on being invisible. Much safer that way.”

Lewis laughs. “The lab says the Rape Kit produced viable DNA. So when we get the guy we’ll be able to make it stick.”

“Okay bring in the next customer.”

Wolfrom goes to the door, opens it and surveys the group of male students seated in the waiting area. He beckons to Adam, who enters the small room nervously. He seems to relax as Wolfrom asks him all the easy questions, name, classes, course load, and everything is fine. Until it changes when Lewis asks, “How well do you know Natasha Panov?”

“I don’t know her, really. I mean, I know her to see because I know several people who live in her residence. I’ve got classes with Maggie and Oscar and we are in a computer club together.”

Adam looks at the detective, busy making notes. “But I don’t think I’ve ever really spoken to her. Sometimes I see her taking pictures with that weight lifter, Boris.”

Lewis nods, and Adam sees that the other detective is writing down everything he says.

“I know Jake as well. He’s a photography student but he is also in the computer club.”

“So what were you doing yesterday afternoon?”

“I … but … afternoon? I thought you would want to know about last night.”

“Just answer the question please Adam.” she says.

“I was, I uh, I cut classes, and I went to the mall.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Uh, I don’t know, I just didn’t feel like going.”

“Hmmm.” says Lewis, She flips back a few pages in her notebook, reading tiny cramped notes. then she looks up at him.

“But you don’t cut classes, do you, Adam.”

“Uh, how?” looking at the notebook in horror, “Has someone been talking about me?”

“That’s confidential information, Adam.” she shakes her head, studying him seriously.

“You can tell me, Adam, why did you really cut class yesterday afternoon?”

“Uh, I just did. It had nothing to do with that girl. I just went to the mall. Walked around a while. That’s all. Then I got something to eat and came back to campus for the computer club meeting at Kate’s house last night.”

Leaning across the table toward Adam, Lewis says softly “I mean you had a perfect record up to yesterday. You never cut classes Adam.”

Lewis frowns at him. “Why did you pick yesterday to cut classes, Adam?”

“I just … I just did, that’s all.” He reaches into his interior jacket pocket and pulls out a wallet, and opens the billfold, rifling through receipts. He tosses one on the table in front of Lewis.

“There. You see, I was at Pad Thai Palace. That proves I was at the mall.”

“Maybe. If the clerk remembers you.”

From behind Adam, Wolfrom asks quietly. “Did you see Boris kiss Natasha at lunch? Or how about when she hit him, Adam. Which part got you all excited?”

Swiveling around Adam says, “Yes. No. I mean I saw her hit him but no it didn’t … I mean I don’t care about that girl. I don’t know her. She’s not even attractive. She’s short. She’s got red hair. Why would I? I could never get excited about someone like that.” Face flushed with fury, Adam stands up and glares at Wolfrom. “Just leave me alone!”

Lewis says quietly, “Adam, sit down. You do not have an alibi. Even if the clerk remembers you, it does not cover you, do you understand that?”

Adam looks down at her, frowning. She gestures for him to sit back down, and he does. “Look, we need to know where people were to eliminate them. Did you see anyone you know at the mall?”

Adam shakes his head “no”.

Wolfrom asks, “Did you buy anything else?”

“No,” Adam says in a small voice.

“Why did you cut classes, Adam?”

He sighs deeply, staring intently at the plastic wood grain tabletop, “I was upset about a girl… a different girl. A beautiful one.” Following the pattern of the plastic wood grain with his eyes. Mesmerizing. “I just had to go away. I was in the Sony store in the mall almost the whole time. I didn’t buy anything.”

“So they might remember you.”

Adam shakes his head sadly. “People don’t.”

Lewis and Wolfrom exchange glances.

“Can I go?”

Lewis nods, “Yes, we’re done here, for now, Adam.”

Adam gets up and pushes his way out the door before they can change their minds.

Wolfrom shakes his head in admiration. “That was good, that notebook thing. How did you know?”

“You saw the guy’s tie. Any tighter he couldn’t breathe. Guys like that don’t cut class just ‘because’. There’s always a reason.”

“So there’s a girl. Maybe our girl stumbled across his path when he was messed up over his girl.”

“Could be. Just he seemed genuinely surprised we were looking at the afternoon, He thought he needed a night time alibi. That makes me doubt right there.”

“Except you know he’s smart. These kids are like rocket scientists, you know? Would it be so hard to play us?”

“Asshole.” She shakes her head, “Get the next one in.”

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