29

teacup and spoon

Maggie is sitting at the games table absently stirring her tea, ostensibly reading the paper when Oscar comes in with a steaming mug of coffee.

“Morning, Miss Maggie.”

“Hey Oz,” she murmurs without looking up.

Oscar settles across from her, taking in the circles under her red rimmed eyes that aren’t meeting his.

“Maggie?  Have I done something to offend?” he asks.

Maggie looks up, surprised.  “Offend?  No of course not.  Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know.”  Oscar sighs.  “You’ve been distant, and now you’re unhappy to see me, so I’d thought perhaps your Stuart had an objection to our friendship, or some such thing.”

Her eyes are brimming with unshed tears, “Oh Oz, no, nothing like that.  Actually, Stu suggested I talk to you.”

Knowing he’s on the wrong page, but it’s not so bad as he feared, Oscar nods.  “I’ll do whatever I can do to help, Maggs.”

Maggie blows her nose a then takes a fortifying breath.  “I thought I could carry it myself but, I just can’t.  Someone I’ve been getting close to, am pretty close to, well, this friend is really sick.”

“Sick?   How, exactly.”

“Very sick.  Very very sick.”

“Oh my god not Katie,” blurts Oscar.

She shakes her head, “No, no. Not Katie, Oz, it’s Krystal.”

“What’s wrong with Krystal?”

“She has a tumor.”

“Oh, dear lord, I don’t know what to say.”   He reaches over to squeeze her hand.  “This is why you’ve been so moody?” she nods, not speaking,  struggling to get under control.

“It’s fine Maggie.  Take your time.”

Maggie says, “She was having headaches, and nausea too.  But her family only moved here a couple of years ago so they don’t have a family doctor.  She had to go to a clinic for a referral, and it took a long time before they could get the tests scheduled, and, well, they took too long.  The problem is a brain tumor, and it got too big.”

“Too big?” asks Oscar, not quite getting it.

“Too big to take out.  What they call inoperable,”

A gasp from behind grabs their attention.  Maggie and Oscar turn to see Jake in the doorway, his face slack with shock.

“Oh Maggie.”

Oscar beckons Jake over.  “You might as well join us lad.  Come on and sit down.”

Jake moves slowly across the room and pulls up a chair.  He stares at Maggie, clearly stricken.  “Maggie, that can’t be right.”

Maggie pushes the cup of tea she’s been fiddling with over to Jake.  “I’m afraid it is.”

“But Maggie, you don’t look, I mean,  I’m so sorry.”

Maggie doesn’t really know the freshman very well, but his eyes are full of pity.  Then she realizes he must only have heard the tail end of the conversation  and thinks she’s the one dying.

“It’s not me, Jake.  I’m healthy as a horse, it’s a friend of mine who’s sick, not me.”

Oscar cocks an eyebrow.  “That’s what comes of listening at doors, misunderstanding and innuendo. Tsk, tsk.”

Jake starts “I didn’t …”

Maggie turns to Oscar,  “It’s not his fault, Oz.  Obviously this was not something we should have been discussing in the common room.  It’s my fault.  I wasn’t thinking.”

Jake suddenly looks if anything even more upset.

“Oh, Kate!  Oh how awful for poor Nick.”

Maggie says, “Stop.” She takes a breath.  “Look, it’s not my secret, but I see it’ll drive you nuts if you don’t know.”

Jake says.  “It’s driving me nuts already.”

“Here’s the deal; I will tell you who my unlucky friend is.  She doesn’t want people to know, she wants to live her life the way she wants.  She doesn’t want pity.   So you don’t tell anyone, not your mother, your girlfriend or your priest.  Okay?”

Oscar chips in, “It goes no farther, right?”

Both stare intently at Jake who says, “I won’t say a word.”

Maggie says, “Okay, then.”

Jake leans in close to hear, Oscar scans the entrances and the upper balcony of the women’s part of the Res above, making sure there are no other inadvertent listeners.

Maggie says, softly.  “It’s Krystal.”

“Krystal.” Jake is stricken.  “No way.  I mean,  oh shit.”

Maggie nods.  “You can’t tell anybody though.”

“I wouldn’t.”  Jake shakes his head.  “I didn’t … I mean, I thought she was a bit goth, I never thought she might be sick.”

Oscar stands up, and puts on his sternest face, which surprises them both, since he’s usually scattering blarney.  He looks different, this burly serious man with smoldering grey eyes.

“So, this is a secret, right?”  Oscar’s eyes bore into Jake’s, who nods fervently.  “Just know that if this sad tale makes the rounds whoever spread it will answer to me.”

Maggie appraises Oscar carefully as he crosses surprisingly muscular arms over his broad chest.  This is a different Oscar, actually a pretty scary Oscar.

Jake nods, wide eyed.  “Yes, Oscar.” and he gets to his feet.  “Uh, I’ve got a class.”  Jake can’t leave fast enough.

Oscar sits back down.  Maggie looks at him, biting her lip, beginning to giggle.  Oscar relaxes and laughs along with her.

“Where,” asks Maggie, “did you learn to do scary like that.  That was amazing.”

“Count yourself lucky, you’ve never had the pleasure of my sainted sister.”

Maggie cracks up, a mixture of laughter and tears pour out of her in glorious release.

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30

hand forged implements reflected in bucket of water

Ethan walks into the photography lab where Jake sits at a workbench, running a slide show on the large wall mounted flat screen.

It is a series of high contrast macro shots of really surprising things.  Ethan’s not sure what many of the images actually might be, but all are clean and sharp, yet with a pervasive aura of decay.

bicycle parts

Not for the first time Ethan is overawed by young Jake’s skill.  Talent.  genius.  Whatever it is, Jake is good.

Ethan slips quietly into a chair by the door so as not to disturb Jake’s series of photographs.  Now it looks to be shots of some kind of fabric, nicotine yellow with a loose weave, maybe antique lace because it looks like it’s crumbling to dust.  Then there are images of some kind of fungal growth on what might be tree bark with an almost luminescent undertone to the lighting.

But the images that speak to Ethan are a series of metal connectors, ball bearings, and what he thinks might be the links of a bicycle chain.  His favorite is a low angle shot of a rusted out bolt protruding from some kind of sheet metal.

What makes the image so interesting to Ethan is the refracted halo of light from above.  Ethan’s not sure if the light is the sun or a clever lighting effect.

looking deep into a rear bicycle reflector

The screen goes black and Ethan asks, “Are they natural or have you been dipping into Photoshop?”

“Straight up, Ethan.  I’m a purist.  I don’t do Photoshop.”

“That’s cool.  They’re really good Jake.”  Jake looks a little uncomfortable under the praise, so Ethan continues, “You’re probably wondering why I’ve called you here today.”

Jake nods, “What’s on the agenda?”

“Professor Mol wants a slide show that can run during the Christmas party.  You know, kind of a year book effect.”

“Taking portraits of everybody?  Not my kind of thing.”

“That’s not what she’s looking for, Jake, she specifically said she doesn’t want formal portraits.  She wants a vérité kind of look  and she liked my idea of a mix of sources.  You know, web cam shots, cell pics, black and white, out of focus, blurry stuff, whatever.   She said we should be  canvassing the whole student population for contributions of their favorite candid shots of their friends.”

gargoyles at Old City Hall, Toronto ON

Jake smiles as he thinks about it.  “Sounds like a monster amount of work.  But you know, it might be fun, but we’ll need heaps of storage.  More hands too.”

Ethan flips open his laptop and logs into the Christie Photography Student wiki.  Logging in under his Teaching Assistant account he starts a new page called ‘Candid Submissions,’ and says,
“How about this, then.  People can upload their candids here then we can go though and pull the cream and assemble it all into a mammoth slide show.  That’s gonna be the grueling part.”

“Well, yeah, but first you’ve gotta get everybody’s attention.  Paper the campus with flyers, maybe make a Facebook fan page?”

detail shot of vice close enough to see tool marks

Jake asks, “So what do we wanna say in our flyer?”

“How about ‘We Want Your Pictures’.”

“Too boring, Ethan.  How about: ‘Star Quality’ ”

“Okay.”  Ethan nods, “Better.  You have any ideas about people we can dragoon into helping?  How about Q?”

Jake rolls his eyes.  “I know he’s your friend and all, but Q doesn’t seem to be straight very often.  We’d be a lot better off with Boris.”

“Okay, yeah.  And Natasha.”

backlit detail of a cast iron forge

Jake watches for Ethan’s reaction as he adds, “And Liz too.”

“Um.” Noncommittal, Ethan looks away.  “I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean, you don’t think so?”  Jake says, “She’s got a good eye.”

“Maybe she does.  But maybe I’d be happier without her.”

“I don’t get it.  What’s your problem with Liz?”

“You’re too young to understand.”

Jake closes his laptop forcefully.  “Don’t give me that crap.  Ethan, you’re not my dad, you’re only a few years older than I am.  Funny how I’m not too young to do a bunch of work on your extracurriculars but suddenly I’m too young? You know Liz is a friend of mine.”

green machine equipment detail

“Okay, okay, you’re right.  I’m sorry.”  Chastened, Ethan rubs his eyebrow, staring at the table, the floor, anywhere but at Jake.

“Look, it’s, well …” he shakes his head.  “Even though it’s an extra-curricular I’m expected to work it.  I can’t afford to blow this T.A. gig, Jake, I need the cash.  But it’s just that Liz … whenever she’s around it’s like I can’t open my mouth.  I look at her and it’s game over.  I like her, okay.  I really like her.  But if she’s on this crew I’m not gonna get diddly done.  She … distracts me.”

“That is just too weird.”  Jake asks, incredulous.  “You don’t want her on the team because you like her?”

Ethan nods sheepishly.

“Don’t be a goof, it would be a great chance to get to know her better,” Jake says.  “Why don’t you ask her out?”

light comes through a molded glass window

“I just can’t, man.”

Ethan swivels in his chair.

“She’s a nice girl, Jake.  She doesn’t even drink.  More than that she’s a star.  What’s her average, in the nineties?  Probably almost as good as yours.  And me?  I’m faking it.  What am I, some goofball drinks too much, smokes up and parties.   I’m just barely making the grade.  She’s sure as shit too good for me, Jake.”

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31

blue enamelled kettle on stovetop

Amelia heads for the kitchen to grab a quick cup of Ramen soup to get through the afternoon.  She plugs in the kettle and nips upstairs for the book she needs.  They say Kindles might be free soon, maybe that’ll make it easier to have the right books every time.   Returning to the kitchen she’s shocked to see a strange man pouring water out of her kettle – until she realizes it’s Eric.

“Hope you left enough for me,” she says.

He nods to the soup bowl and she sees that he filled it before filling his mug.

“Thanks.  You’re better trained than most.”  she smiles, and he nods. God he looks rough.   “You coming to class today?”

Eric shrugs as he fishes out the tea bag, and starts ladling in sugar.   “Probably not,” he mutters.

She leans back on the counter and looks at him.  Unkempt. Stubble does not suit this guy.   “Why not?”

“‘Cause I really don’t feel like it, that’s why not.”

She cocks her head, “So what, you’re gonna wallow in self pity for the rest of your life?”

He takes a sip of his tea.  She can see it’s too hot and he’s burnt his tongue, but he sticks to the tough guy act and pretends it doesn’t.  “Maybe.”

“I’d think about it.  You wanna kiss off the semester, fine, but if it was me I’d be down at the office dropping out formally so I’d get at least some of my money back.”

Eric nods, continuing to look miserable.

“‘Course, it was me I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.”

He pins her with a glower, “But it wasn’t you, was it.”

She glowers right back, “No it wasn’t.  You don’t have the market cornered on pain and suffering.  This is the first time you’ve said two words to me and you wanna be a jerk?  I may not be a goddess but I sure don’t deserve any crap.  You wanna dump on somebody, dump on her, not me.”

Amelia turns on her heel and stomps out of the kitchen, soup and notebook forgotten  in the grip of overwhelming anger.

Eric’s jaw drops, then he calls, “Wait.”  But she doesn’t hear him, she’s too angry.   Feeling like a jerk Eric goes after her,  “Wait.  I’m sorry.”  She keeps on going for the door and is just getting it open when he catches up with her and stops the door with his hand.

“You’re right.  Look.  I didn’t mean to be a jerk.  I haven’t been thinking, and, and, you haven’t even touched your soup.”

His contrition drains away her annoyance.  “No.  I haven’t.”

“Look,” says Eric, “Why don’t you eat your soup and I’ll go get cleaned up so I can come to the lecture with you.”

She looks at him, appraisingly.

“I’m really not a jerk.”

Amelia raises an eyebrow.

“Not usually.”  Eric makes a pitiful stab at a smile.

“Okay.  Go get cleaned up.  If you’re good I’ll let you come to class with me.”  Amelia shakes her head, smiling ruefully.

His smile touches his eyes for moment.  “Deal.”

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32

cell phone text message asks Can You get me tickets to the Black Eyes Peas concert?Adam ignores the lecture, probably for the first time in his life, as he texts his brother on his new cellphone.

Can you get me tickets to the Black Eyed Peas concert?

The return message from his brother is tersely to the point.

For tonight? You’re kidding.
Never more serious. Whatever it takes.
Have you even heard BEP?
Just get them for me.

When there’s no response, Adam follows it with a single word:

Please.

I’ll see what I can do kid. Just don’t hold your breath.

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33

oak leaves haven't yet fallen on a bright fall day

“I can’t believe this weather,” says Krystal, stopping beside the wooded path that leads to Fyfield House.

Oscar says, “I agree, it’s better than what we had for summer,” as he shakes the blanket, letting it billow out and settle on the grass under the huge weeping willow.

“Pity it won’t last,” says Maggie as she sits cross legged in the middle of the blanket, balancing her laptop in her lap. Oscar positions his bag in the corner of the blanket and drops down beside Maggie, laying back and using the computer as a pillow.

Krystal holds a finger to her lips and cautions Maggie, “Shhhh … mother nature might hear you,” then she lays down along the blanket’s other edge, parallel to Oscar, but on her stomach, propped on her elbows as she opens her email account.

Oscar laughs and says “Climate change seems pretty real to me. Never know what we’re going to get. Perhaps winter will give us a miss altogether this year.”

“In your dreams, Oz,” says Krystal. “Hey, didn’t you go home this summer?”

Oscar says, “If you knew my family you’d understand why.”

Maggie watches Krystal type. “I don’t know how you can type like that. I tried that once and lost all circulation.”

Krystal smiles. “I dunno … works for me.” She scans the subject column, routinely marking obvious spam for destruction.

Maggie clears her throat. “Uh, Krys, there’s something I have to tell you.” Maggie says. Krystal rolls over on her side, looking up at her friend.

“That doesn’t sound good, Maggie.”

“Yeah, because I think you’re going to be mad.” Krystal watches Maggie, who is having a hard time making eye contact. “I’m sorry Krys, but I was really down and I, well, I kind of told Oz.”

“You what?”

From his side of the blanket, Oscar looks over at Krystal, meeting her eyes firmly. “I dragged it out of her. I’m sorry. And in future we’ll be very careful not to let it go any further.”

“Further? What further?” Krystal’s eyes narrow. “Who else knows? What did you do, run an ad on Craigslist?”

“Worse. We discussed it in the common room.”

Krystal shakes her head and sits up. “I don’t believe you Maggie. First you haunt me until I tell you and when I do you broadcast it to the world. It’s my life, don’t you get that?”

“I’m sorry. I thought we were alone but Jake came in and heard too. I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t intentional, I promise you that.” adds Oscar.

“Jake? Jesus, you guys. So that’s everybody? You didn’t tell anybody else? I mean, Jose doesn’t know, right?” Both Oscar and Maggie shake their heads solemnly, looking dejected. “Look, you guys need to understand. It’s hard enough for me to be here, but if the whole world knows I won’t be able to stick it out.”

“I get it Krystal, and I can’t tell you. I’m just sorry.” Maggie tells her with feeling.

“Okay.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask, I may not tell.” Krystal replies wryly.

“Why are you here? I mean, I don’t know that I’d go to school if it was me.”

“Really? Where else would I be? I’m here for the same reason you are, I love computers. I like working with them, getting them to do what I want them to. I like learning to make them do stuff I don’t even know I want them to do. It’s fun.”

“But, if I only had … ”

“You think so? You could be hit by a bus tomorrow Maggie. Why waste your time if this isn’t what you want to do?”

Maggie nods, “I guess. I hadn’t thought about it.”

“Well, I have, and I decided to live like I mean it.”

“I guess you have. I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Krys.”

“Yeah, I know you are. So now you can stop apologizing and move on, okay?” Krystal holds her eye, “I just want a normal life.”

“I understand.” Maggie nods.

Krystal smiles, “On the other hand if Hugh Jackman called me up and asked me to loll in the sun on the French Riviera it might be different.” Krystal looks at her unhappy companions. “Okay, who knows a good funny story?”

Sniffling, Maggie asks, “Funny story?”

“That’s what I want, to hang out with friends and have fun.”

Krystal turns to Oscar. “Come on Oz, got any more Oscar Wilde stories? I really liked the one about the cowboy.”

“That was good, wasn’t it.” Oscar grins, “You know, Maggie has her own wild story. Did she ever tell you about her flasher?”

Krystal’s eyes widen, “Flasher? No way. Tell!”

Maggie rolls her eyes. “But it wasn’t funny.”

“Ah, but it was,” says Oscar.

Krystal turns to Oscar, “Come on, then, Oz, spill it.”

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